Tradition

Hi there,

I was thinking about the tradition of people and especially men women relationships. Father Daughter relationships. When you are a wedding planner you get a different viewpoint than most. Their are the traditional weddings and the non traditional weddings. Yesterday I posted a tweet of a non-traditional wedding. Wondered if they would allow that type of wedding dress in the church?  

The past tradition a woman would have never been seen in a wedding two piece wedding dress, yet today it is acceptable. The traditional wedding dress would have a veil.   Depending on the woman and her father would depend upon the length of her veil. Some have a very long and some short. The girls father would help the groom learn about his daughter and how to respect her.

Wedding Under the Veil

It wasn't until the other day, when I was listening to a the word to a new song "Rude" that I really started thinking about how that relates to the importance of the relationship between a Father and Daughter and the new man she is about to marry. The song talks about how the young man ask the dad or his brides to be father, for his daughters hand in marriage. It doesn't matter, he is going to marry her anyway! How rude.

                                                           Father Kisses His Daughter Before He Gives Her Away

                                                                                                          or 

                                                                                       Husband's First Kiss

The man disrespect everything and decides to marry this woman regardless of what is true for her and her father. I thought about this relating to the thought of a new man's need to show what he is capable of. He is a man and will do whatever he wants. This in the youth of ones life is what is important to prove oneself. However, it is also later in life what gets you into trouble. The dad knows his daughters and what or how she grew up. Although she may be a woman now capable of thinking for herself. "He"  (Groom to Be) in the song is missing the point of asking the dad and doing it anyway. Her father's rudeness is knowing her ability and maybe his own.  It might not have to do with the young man. Although it possible does. 

My dad died before he got to walk me down the aisle. I never got that last kiss. Only the one when I left the hospital room for the night. Thinking I would see him in the morning. However, he did approve of the man I was about to marry. I had to have my brother in law walk me down the aisle. There was no kiss there, just a lifting of the veil.  I would of asked my grandfather, however he was of the age where he didn't walk very well and family thought he might fall. What is the point to this. The point I am trying to make as a woman, I knew my dad supported my decision to marry the man I did. This I will never get again. When things got difficult with this I would have his thoughts to help me through. Not my moms, not my brother in laws, not any other person's just my dads. Why? I understood the talk they had. I was there, embarrassed as I was. It was the three of us. How he felt about me and what he expected of the man I was going to marry.  Therefore, I could hold myself to the standards they had both agreed. The cool thing is I then got to hold my husband's family to these standards. It was an agreement. 

The Brides Fathers kiss under the veil symbolizes his last time being with his daughter intimately and personal. He is giving her to another man. It is sad to see this art lost. It is remembered for years! It is a moment of giving his most personal self to another man. He has to trust him like he would trust himself. His daughter is a part of himself. What a blessing and sad moment for a Father. The song misses the point of doing it without the Father's or Dad's approval isn't really proving his manhood. It is proving his in ability to be patient and win the other man's respect. A respect that will help them both the rest of their lives. 

The traditional wedding, dress, woman doesn't exist like it use to or does it? What type of man are you?  What I do know that when an argument happens between a couple, there isn't another person to lean on because it was forced. What happens if your woman was forced by another? Will you know? Will you know how to stop it?  Would of, could of Should of mentality instead of being a mature man. She will bring it up sometime within the years you are married. I am not telling you implying that the woman is weak that you are about to marry, I am asking you, because as a woman I want to know what defines you as a man. 

The past tradition a woman would have never been seen in a wedding two piece wedding dress, yet today it is acceptable. The traditional wedding dress would have a veil.   Depending on the woman and her father would depend upon the length of her veil. Some have a very long and some short. The girls father would help the groom learn about his daughter and how to respect her.